Thursday, May 28, 2009

Celebrating Diversity for Profit

San Francisco comedian Will Franken gives advice to small businesses on how to profit by celebrating diversity (apologies for the abrupt ending):

This video came from the future Baron, who included two more (not entirely PG-13) in his email:

And below the jump is a humorous CV that the fB picked up off Will Franken’s Facebook profile:
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Lofretta Blipboom is the first African-American woman. Despite her Hispanic/Latina heritage, she is proud to be a lesbian working hard for the equality of Filipinos. Last year, she was awarded the Asian-American Medal of The Pink Ribbon in honor of her achievements in the Islamic community of Northern Ireland. In addition to her efforts at removing guns from the hands of inner-city streets, she continues to work within the homosexually-gay Native American population of Pakistan through such programs as T.H.R.U.S.T. and P.E.E. in order to further the knowledge of abortions and the education of condoms.

Lofretta lives alone in Femur, OK with her three children: Dot, Feather, and Scalp. She divides her time between sleeping and waking, often confusing the two in a literary lucidity which she uses to great advantage in works such as Morgan’s Wheel: How Freeman Redeemed Shawshank (1995) and the The Brown Escalator: Civil Rights in the age of Multi-Floored Malls (1987)

Affirmative Hope is Lofretta’s nineteenth book on the Inauguration of President Barack Obama. Her relentlessness in chronicling the minute-by-minute activities which led up to the capturing, by camera 3, a few seconds before 10:17 a.m., on the morning of January 20th, 2009, of our 44th president’s famous half-smile and head-tilt have earned her the moniker “The Chocolate James Joyce”.

Lofretta is also a trustee of “The Leni Riefenstahl Girls”, a non-profit, female-run, racially-empowered, diversity-driven, multiculturally-fueled, rainbow-generated, Fortune 500 company — dedicated to the conversion of black-and-white movies to black. Between books, she volunteers at the Po’ Center, silkscreening Che Guevara images on camouflage T-shirts for disenfranchised rich white girls. On Tuesday afternoons, she hosts the popular NPR radio programme, Sanctimony Live.

In her spare time, Lofretta is a black nationalist, a black panther, an illegal immigrant, an employer of illegal immigrants, a highly-paid diversity seminar leader, a tenured race and gender-obsessed literature professor, a college girl in a keffiyeh, an exploding Palestinian, a Marxist, a death-row inmate, a militant dyke couple, and a writer and performer of numerous poems she’s written about her [female and male sexual organs].

I’m looking forward to more material from Will Franken.


spackle said...

Wow. This guy is rather interesting. How he has managed to pass his brand of comedy in the Bay Area is a matter worthy of a dissertation.

Gryffilion said...

More like prophet from diversity, yeah? Or maybe vice versa.