Friday, January 23, 2009

The Cause of the Forced Landing of Flight 1549


They finally found what brought down the plane in the Hudson River.

Turban ducks

Thanks to the Lurker From Tulsa for this important photographic exclusive.

Meanwhile, we only just found the text to accompany the Gooslam members floating serenely in the photo on this post.

Andy Levy says:

In the wake of the events of 1-15, in which a wedge of Geese brought down a US Airways aircraft, here’s what you won’t be hearing about from the so-called “Mainstream Media”: We brought this on ourselves.

After an event such as this one, it’s important to look at the root causes: Why did the Geese attack us? Well, the truth is, for years we have been oppressing the Geese, using them for the fuel they provide for our bodies.

Boneless Goose Breast, Brandied Roast Goose, Roast Goose with Cumberland Sauce and Apricot Stuffing. And of course, the Christmas Goose. In the name of religion, we have been engaged in what can only be called a Crusade against the Geese. Is it any wonder that a few brave suicide Geese would seek revenge?

Under the neocon/neofascist Cheney-Bush administration, Goose consumption is up 1541%. Geese have been systematically deprived of their rights at a level never seen before. (Look around your workplace: do you see any Geese? Wouldn’t you be nervous if you did?) Reports of shameful anti-Goose activity are at an all-time high, mainly in the South and Midwest, of course.

- - - - - - - - -
The fact is, WE (and, of course, Israel) are responsible for the rise of militant Gooslam. Given our actions, is it any wonder that gaggles of Goslings would reject the teachings of moderate Goose leaders, when those leaders are perceived as being in the pocket of the West?…

Yes, Mr. Levy gets even funnier.


Joanne said...

These are AMERICAN geese, don't let Americans tell you any differently....all Canadian geese are accounted for and vacationing comfortably in Florida, where any bird of common sense would be. New York City - pfffttt......too cold, brrrrrr.

babs said...

Illegal immigrants!
I expect a statement from the Canadian Embassy shortly.

rickl said...

According to The People's Cube, they were CIA-trained geese.

ɱØяñιηg$ʇðя ©™ said...

So if they are american it must mean they are converts right? Who offered them the dawa? Osama the lame duck?

filthykafir said...

Reverend Wright just released a press announcement:

And now the foul have come home to roost. God goose America."

Afonso Henriques said...

Geese?? For God's sake, what have you been smoking!!!

I find this very troubling, is that serious?? I thought only sofisticated brains would be anti-American. At least is what they say in Europe...
But now geese?

It only proves America is the great Satan!!! Even the celestial birds are acting militarily against it!

Meanwhile, I know the truth about their motivations. Baron and Gates of Vienna community, you filthy Amerikkkans, you imperialist pigs have subjected these birds to the worst of humiliation, all for money and the horrible capitalism. See for yourselves, the Portuguese TV had reported on this previously:

Até um cego vê que isto só na América - Even a blind man sees that this? Only in America...

No kidding, and I am standing with the birds!

ɱØяñιηg$ʇðя ©™ said...

I first thought they where malla(h)rds. :P