Saturday, January 01, 2011

The New Year Comes With Ham

Our English correspondent Seneca III sends this brief and whimsical message for the new year:

The Mohammed Coefficient and the Great Unanswered Questions

A belated Merry Christmas to all GoV readers and a couple of thoughts for the coming year.

Piggy MoFirstly, I am of a mind that the values of the Mohammed Coefficient as oft iterated on this blog are grossly underestimated. By registering only the name ‘Mohammed’, and not taking into consideration its derivatives, the percentiles as given seriously underestimate the magnitude of the problem.

By derivatives I mean the singular nouns such as Hamed, Hamad, Hamoud, Hamdan etc. and collective nouns such as Hamas (Hamanegg was actually the name of a famous Carthaginian breakfast dish so it doesn’t count) and were they to be included in the count I feel the coefficient would rise quite significantly.

Secondly, being of a somewhat mischievous inclination and having reeled those names off of my tongue several times, it occurred to me that the time may have come for an addition to the pantheon of Great Unanswered Questions of which, for those of you not familiar with the GUQ, I offer the following examples:

  • “How do seedless grapes propagate?”
  • “Why is there only one Monopolies Commission (UK)?”
  • “How many damp cigars did Bill Clinton actually inhale?”
  • “Is there anything wrong with hypocrisy as long as you believe in it?”

and, consequently, I propose to add the following:

  • “Who put the ‘Ham’ in Mohammed (PBUH)?” (No double entendre intended!)

So, a Happy New Year to the Counterjihad…and what say you, ‘Nam!’ or ‘La!’?

— Seneca III

Previous posts by Seneca III:

2007 Oct 13 A Letter to my People
    26 Another Letter To My People
2008 Oct 5 Excerpt From “Ere the Winter of Our Discontent”
2009 Oct 22 The Cultural Death of a People
    23 Do Star Chambers Serve a Useful Purpose, Or Do They Obfuscate the Issue?
  Nov 8 By the Rivers of Babylon
2010 Jul 2 The ‘Phoney War’ Is Over
  Sep 13 Musings on the Winds of Change
  Oct 13 The Fourth Dimension of Warfare, Part 1


Foxmuldar Blog said...

Waiter, I'd like to order two Muhammad Burgers with bacon and cheese. I'll also have a coors lite beer to go with it.

sounds tasty. lol

Richard said...

Thank you I needed that laugh.

Zenster said...

More GUQ:

Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

Why is material carried by boat called "cargo" but street deliveries are called "shipments"?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Can we eliminate all hypothetical questions?

Anonymous said...

Where can I get one of those cute little piggy banks? (And please don't say 'Denmark'--a web address would be much more useful.)

Anonymous said...

Years ago in Riyadh my wife was in a "ladies only" restaurant when one of her fellow diners saw the word hamburger on the menu. FD immediately went beserk claiming ham was an insult to the prophet and demanding the removal of the offensive word.

Dymphna said...

@ Salome:

Google is your friend. Just put in the search string Buy Piggy Bank. It will offer you two search choices, oone of which is a "bank" with no hole. IOW, just a ceramic pig??

@ Albatross

That makes me wonder what the Turks do when they come to Hamburg, Germany. Another Tiny Minority Meltdown?

Anonymous said...

The piggy bank named Mohammed seems apropos since Mohammed explicitly instructed his followers to take all the money that they can get their hands on....

Van Grungy said...

Why is Quay pronounced like 'Key'

Unknown said...

“How do seedless grapes propagate?”

They don't by themselves. They are probably cloned like nearly every domesticated grape plant.