Thursday, February 12, 2009

A Report From the Vegetable Liberation Front

A “semi-long time reader from the US” just sent us this important message:

Racist broccoli!

[post ends here]


Anonymous said...

OK, Baron, can you enlighten a poor immigrant, where the "pointe" is?

Baron Bodissey said...

The point is to have fun.

Sorry, TC. I guess not everyone has been present here for all our "waycist" banter.

The point is that I'm a waycist, you're a waycist, and even broccoli is waycist.

Perhaps I am too easily amused...

Afonso Henriques said...


It is disapointing especially now that I thought I was starting to understand British Humout... not yet it seems!
... It also seems that it is a broader Anglo-Saxon or WASP thing...

I didn't understand it either...

Anonymous said...

Baron, I think you got me wrong. I'm not critizising. I don't understand the joke.

But then again, maybe it's just me. Was it Groucho, who said, "the 2 thinnest books in the world are the ones about English cuisine and German humor"?

Afonso Henriques said...

Is it because only white people eat broccoli?
Is that even true?

Hmm... is it broccoli deemed to waycist and a symbol against multiculturalism?

(Though Gates of Vienna is multicultural a lot)

Dymphna said...


I'm so glad to see you, even if it took this "mystery humor" to make you let someone else handle the tiller while you inquired after the essence of this ephemeral "joke".

The joke is a bit of post-ironic humor. Broccoli is limp, dull, and speechless. In America even those characteristics could put you at risk for being a waycist -- and the word "waycist" itself is how the cartoon character Elmer Fudd might have pronounced "racist". This is akin to Bugs Bunny's frquently calling Elmer a "maroon" for a "moron".

In our p.c. world today, Bugs wouldn't be able to get away with the word "maroon"...some oh-so sensitive person of color would be certain that it was a code word for say, "quadroon". This last term was once a word used to describe a French Creole with white grandparents.


The lightness of one's skin in the African American social order is (in some places) highly prized. In the old days, some used this "advantage" to pass over into white society.

Mark Twain's "Pudd'nhead Wilson" is a tragi-comic send-up of American's obsession with color. Kids love that story. You can get the cheap Dover edition here. Anyone with children ought to get a Dover catalogue . Wonderful things for very little money.


"German humor"? Heh. I'll bet it wears big boots and carries a cudgel for the punch line.

"English cuisine"? Hmmm. An oxymoron? Of course, there is trifle, and shepherd's pie, and Scotch broth and boiled tongue...

My favorite dessert is English: summer pudding. We have a red currant tree; when the cedar waxwings don't get to the fruit first, I pick enough to freeze for summer pudding. Maybe it's their pectin that makes the difference.

...I actually have a (modern) Irish cookbook, and one curiosity from the Isle of Man.

OTOH, I do like the way the English cook offal. I have to wait until the Baron is not in the house to prepare kidneys or liver. And I've never, ever told him about sweetbreads.

Funny thing about Americans...they'll eat the most horrible tripe but they wont' eat tripe itself. And trying to find tongue in this country is difficult unless you live in a big city near an ethnic butcher shop.

I think my country stopped being sufficiently hungry a long time ago.

Meanwhile, if I could just go to say, Yorkshire for breakfast and be back home in time for lunch, there is no equal to an English breakfast. An old-fashioned American southern one comes close, what with the inclusion of grits. But neither kippers nor kidneys, both of which are serious omissions.

Oops…am flirting with the word limit here…betcha can’t tell I have ADD.

Afonso Henriques said...

" Broccoli is limp, dull, and speechless. In America even those characteristics could put you at risk for being a waycist"

Thanks Dymphna.

And I remember when I went to eat (it was the only time) out in London, fish and sheeps (potatoes) in Chelsea. Incredibly expensive and with an incredible lack of salt.

What saved the restaurant was a very nice Brazilian "garçon" that was serving there. What we went to eat the next day? American Hamburgers!

Really, American fast food never lets one down.

Old Atlantic Lighthouse said...

Discovering something old that was racist is as big a discovery as the Maxwell Equations. Bigger. Because sooner or later someone would have discovered the Maxwell Equations.

But adding a new racist thing is a personal discovery of liberation. It is to rise to be co-equal with God Himself and to write part of the Laws of Racism.

These are the only laws that count, not the old fuddy duddy Maxwell Equations. That is unless, it can be shown, that yes, the Maxwell Equations are racist and Islamophobic.

Not even CJ has made a discovery of that importance, which transcends all other early knowledge and will outlast the human race itself. But we are all part of it, part of this new great discovery, greater than Darwin who was born today.

Anonymous said...

Ah Dymphna, I swear you're my kind of gal and I DO hope we'll have a Yorkshire breakfast together some day!

I gotta tell you though, that I was seriously disappointed the other day, when you didn't mention Irish Stew in your list of lamb dishes. This time of year, it's clearly one of my favorites, prepared with a cabbage that has gotten frost overnight ...

Anyway, I think I still have one or two cans of kipper in the pantry and I haven't had dinner yet.

So, thanks for your kindness and the patient explanation.

I think there's also some homemade rye bread left to eat with the kipper. I'll round that out with a good, smuggled, Stilton.

Yumm ...

Profitsbeard said...

Dymphna and Baron B.,

Don't forget the gutsy corollary-

Haggis is Islamophobic!