Monday, November 05, 2007

Hey, I Know! Let's Divide Jerusalem. Yeah, That's Fair!

Get this:

Five former State Department and Pentagon officials are proposing Israeli and Palestinian capitals in Jerusalem and excluding Arab refugees from returning to Israel as part of an Middle East accord.

What are these people on? You’d have to be using something to come up with this hare-brained scheme.

Here’s a better suggestion: let’s divide Mecca first, and then we can work on Jerusalem. Even better, let’s give part of Vatican City to the Baptists, then divide Mecca…and after the dust settles from those two partitions, the division of Jerusalem can be decided by the dozen or so remaining human beings.

In a six-page policy statement submitted to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, they also suggested a series of peace conferences following the one she hopes to convene next month, probably in Annapolis, Maryland, near Washington.

Right. Lots of meetings and “dialogue,” which is all these people know how to do. Have pin-striped suit, will travel…first class, anyway.

Heaven knows there haven’t been nearly enough peace conferences regarding Palestine. We need more. We need more the same way we need more social workers or an increase in government agencies or more sex toys for UN Peacekeepers.

Lord love a duck, I have heard of some stupid ideas in my time, but surely this is the lowest-IQ measure ever of the learning-impaired State Department. In fact, to gain employment in the State Department, among other things you have to pass an I-hate-America exam. Once you get by that, they give you an intelligence test. Those who pass are automatically weeded out.

After all, they have to leave slots for the political appointees. And we do want the Friends of Bill and the Friends of George to have a group of their peers to play with.

Split Jerusalem or split the atom...same outcome.


Hat tip: One Jerusalem


[ends here]

11 comments:

ln said...

This is the most ingeniously funny
and ditto venomous piece I have read for ages. Bravo!

Pogo said...

Yes! That definitely makes sense. The Paleos get part of Jerusalem now and the right of return soon then the extinction of Israel. Didn't some wag aver that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different outcomes? Oh! Excuse me. We're dealing with foggy bottom here.

Anonymous said...

American policy towards Zionism and Israel was set in 1920 by the King-Crane report. King and Crane were two State department functionaries as well as vicious Arabists and later nazi sympathizers who were sent to the Middle East to decide what should be done about the former Ottoman province of Damasca-Syria(comprised of modern day Syria, Lebanon, Israel, and Jordan). King and Crane recommended that there should be a single Arab state in the territory administered initially by a US mandate and eventually gaining independence. They also said America must do everything possible to prevent the rebirth of a Jewish State as this would inflame the Arabs. A policy the US government faithfully followed until the creation of Israel. THe policy then shifted to pursue the destruction of Israel, a policy the US government, in particular the US State Department has followed consistently.

The Average Joe said...

There is only one solution to the Jerusalem problem that does not involve turning it into a field of radio-active glass.

Jerusalem must be declared an international city and become the new permanent home for the United Nations.

This is a perfect compromise because everyone will hate it with equal fervor.

Patrick_A_NonnyMouse said...

Isn't this akin to the definition of a liberal as: someone who wants to prove he's compassionate by taking money at gunpoint from you and then giving it to some poor soul who "deserves" it more? But, no longer content to steal from fellow citizens, now the new, improved liberal is stealing from other countries and giving to terrorists. Makes perfect sense if you're one of them, I guess...

I keep wondering WHAT is in the water there in Washington DC. Bright, honorable people with the determination to make a difference in our country go there and turn into vote-grubbing tools.

Kathy said...

Jerry Golden has pictures of the wall they're building to divide Jerusalem. Listening to the US news, you'd think this was still in the talking stages, but these pictures are pretty much a done deal. In what might be a related post, someone named Nathanael posted a dream he had on another site where he saw the 4 horses from the apocalypse being led out of their stalls. Either way, the time grows short.

Consul-At-Arms said...

What I wonder is how many of the five "ex-diplomats" were actually professional FSOs rather than political appointees. I recognize Amb. Pickering as a former professional, but will have to research the other ones.

John Wheelock said...

Average Joe - that is a brilliant idea. Not only would it anger almost everyone equally, it would actually put the United Nations in the direct line of fire where it would be forced to ACT, and not just give empty speeches. They could create a "safe zone" around the city and only unarmed peace-loving civilians could enter...which worked so well in Bosnia. They would see how difficult dealing with homicidal Islamists really is.

http://grizzlymountain.blogspot.com/

YoelB said...

Heck, why not divide Washington DC? I'm sure we could find someone to claim half of it in the name of the Confederacy. Let's see, who might the analogue of the Palestinians be? Maybe the KKK?

Dymphna said...

Yoelb --

Divide it? Why not just nuke it? Ain't nobody's holy place and it's an albatross of a third world country hanging around our necks.

The place is corrupt, full of nepotism, crime-ridden, and has all the efficiency and charm of the old USSR.

Getting your automobile license plates in DC is a day-long operation...unless of course you're a politician, in which case you can hire someone to stand in line for you.

DC = Little Moscow.

It's one place you couldn't give away.

Dymphna said...

oh -- I forgot:

Thank you, ln, for your kind words about this post. I will treasure them. I especially like the accolade "venomous" -- makes me feel like I'm playing with the big boys. Look out Mark Steyn, here I come!