Sunday, January 03, 2010

Calling 112

Our expatriate Dutch correspondent just sent us this joke. He says, “The sad thing is, this is not a joke at all in Holland…”

Note: “112” is the Dutch equivalent of “911” in the USA or “999” in the UK.

Calling 112

In the middle of the night a man calls the police emergency number: “Please, send a patrol car! There are two guys breaking into my garden shed!”

The police reply: “Sorry, sir. It’s 3 AM. We have only one patrol car available, doing a speed control on the other side of town. I recommend you do nothing. Remain in your home, and tomorrow you can file a complaint.”

The man thanks the police officer for his advice and hangs up the phone.

Ten minutes later he calls again: “Hi, remember I called you earlier about a burglary in my garden shed? Those burglars tried to enter my kitchen. Each was armed with a knife. I smashed their skulls with a golf club. One is dead; the other one is still alive. Can you send an ambulance?”

Within two minutes a helicopter is hovering over the house. A SWAT team is entering the house. The riot police are present with a full platoon and have locked down the street. The ambulances are arriving, and so are the mayor, the district attorney, and the chief of police.

They arrest the highly surprised burglars in the garden shed. Nobody is hurt. Nobody is dead.

The chief of police shouts furiously to the man: “I thought I would find two burglars with smashed skulls here!!”

The man replies:
- - - - - - - - -
“I thought you had only one patrol car doing a speed control!”


Gregory said...

I don't get it.

Dymphna said...


If you "don't get it" am I safe in assuming you're in the U.S.? If this is the case, a trip abroad, say to the European continent, might be in order. Talk to a few natives...I mean ethnic Europeans.

Failing that - the economic situation being what it is - perhaps some of our European readers will tell you the point of this almost-joke.

It's in the "almost" category because if it happens to you, it ceases to be funny.

The most un-funny incident I read was about a house invasion a few years ago in the UK. IIRC, a family was asleep upstairs and didn't hear the break-in. The indvaders took all the Christmas presents under the tree, plus the computer in the husband's office.

The husband was a radiologist, doing research. All his work was stored on that hard-drive.

He called the police and they told him to come down and fill out a report. Big help.

Several weeks later, someone showed up to talk to him. No hope of finding his stuff, they said.

So the man put up a notice all over the area, asking for the return of the computer, explaining his situation and offering a reward, no questions asked.

The police made the doctor remove his poster because what he was doing was illegal, i.e., attempting to deal in stolen goods.

Go visiting, my friend. Travel is educational.

Also read Theodore Dalrymple. You can find him on a City Journal or simply google him.

Free Hal said...

Hi Dymphna and Gregory,

This is a video of an interesting debate on the subject.

Best wishes,


One_of_the_last_few_Patriots_left said...

Gregory said, "I don't get it."

Of course you don't get it, because you still have a moral compass and so are unaccustomed to thinking in terms
of the INVERSION OF NORMAL MORALITY that is now standard operating procedure with our political masters.

Normal people believe that criminals should be punished for their crimes and that good people have the right to defend themselves. Why don't politicians believe this?

Remember some years ago the Bernhard Goetz case in New York City? Goetz was accosted by several THUGS, uh...
I mean "youths..." who were armed with sharpened screwdrivers and attempted to rob him. If they had succeeded, the incident would have been just another petty crime among many dozens that day to which the authorities would have given only cursory attention.
In fact, Goetz drew a revolver and SHOT the perps. Within a couple of hours, the capture of Goetz was the highest priority of the entire New York City police apparatus.

The authorities will accept not only a great deal of petty crime, but even serious violent crime, when it is committed by criminals.
If a law abiding citizen defends himself, he thereby demonstrates that a.) the authorities were unable to protect him or indifferent to doing so and cannot be relied upon, and b.) the citizen is perfectly capable of taking care of himself and does not need the authorities.
So, why, exactly, does he need to pay confiscatory taxes to support the authorities if they are useless?
The authorities cannot abide having the citizen demonstrate by actual experiment that the authorities are incompetent and worthless parasites, and so they will bring to bear the full force of the internal security apparatus of the Almighty State against the citizen.

This phenomenon is very far advanced in Europe and in the more europeaninzed parts of the USA.

EscapeVelocity said...

Nice post the Last Patriot.

The US isnt much different dont let anybody fool you. Ive heard a variation of this joke set in the US.

Zenster said...

One_of_the_last_few_Patriots_left: Remember some years ago the Bernhard Goetz case in New York City? Goetz was accosted by several THUGS, uh... I mean "youths..." who were armed with sharpened screwdrivers and attempted to rob him.

You left out the part about how the perps openly admitted that they were carrying unsharpened screwdrivers for the express purpose of breaking into change boxes.

From the link:

At the time of the incident, Goetz had no criminal record while all four of the men were criminal convicts with an aggregate total of nine convictions and ten outstanding criminal bench warrants, although only Cabey [Cabey was permanently paralyzed and suffered brain damage as a result of the bullet that severed his spine] had been collared for a felony, armed robbery. When the incident occurred, all of the men were either 18 or 19, and had reached the legal age of majority. Thus it makes more sense to refer to them as "young men", rather than "youths" or "kids", terms often used by the media regarding this incident and also used by the civil trial lawyers for the four men, among them Ron Kuby and William Kunstler. Although not an exact definition, in a legal context the term youth typically implies that the person is under the age of 18 and may have some avenue to escape being tried as an adult. [Emphasis added]

Ah yes, the perennial media darlings, their treasured "youths". As to the screwdrivers:

After the incident, rumors spread that Goetz was threatened with sharpened screwdrivers. This rumor was published as fact by some newspapers; however, neither Goetz nor the young men made any such claim.


James Ramseur and Barry Allen have committed serious crimes since the original incident. Soon after being released from the hospital for the treatment of his gunshot wound, James Ramseur committed another crime with an associate: he was later convicted of raping, sodomizing, beating and robbing a pregnant nineteen year old woman on a building rooftop in the Bronx, and in 1986 was sentenced to 8 1/3 to 25 years in prison. Barry Allen committed two muggings after the shooting. [Emphasis added]

S said...

Criminals take away your power and control.
Vigilanties take away their power and control.

Criminals attack you.
Vigilantes attack them, so to speak.

That's why they swat at criminals and send everything they have after vigilanties.

One_of_the_last_few_Patriots_left said...

Thank you for your kind words, Escape Velocity.

Escape Velocity said..."The US isn't much different, don't let anybody fool you."

Indeed. Several months ago there was a bizarre incident at a Market Basket supermarket near Boston. A man and his young son went into a restroom in the supermarket. The boy found himself being groped by an "illegal alien who spoke only Spanish." The boy's father dissuaded the pervert by striking him. The police were called, and proceeded to arrest the FATHER on assault and battery charges while the "illegal alien who spoke only Spanish" was let go.
Attorney General Martha Coakley, when interviewed on a local radio station (96.9 FM) stated: "We discourage self-help..." This IMBECILE is now running to fill the Senate seat vacated, by means of a brain tumor, by Ted Kennedy.

Every day, I thank CHRIST that I managed to leave the Marxist $#!+hole that is Massachusetts. Even so, I would be very wary of defending myself even here in New Hampshire, no matter how dire the need.

One_of_the_last_few_Patriots_left said...

Yes, Zenster, thank you for jogging my memory.

"...the perps...were carrying...screwdrivers for the express purpose of breaking into change boxes."


"James Ramseur and Barry Allen have committed serious crimes since the original incident...
...raping, sodomizing, beating and robbing a pregnant nineteen year old woman..."

Doubly charming.

"At the time of the incident, Goetz had no criminal record while all four of the men were criminal convicts with an aggregate total of nine convictions and ten outstanding criminal bench warrants,"

And of course, all four of them
were walking the streets. In other words, it could be argued that the authorities of New York City, in effect, CAUSED the attack on Goetz
by allowing known criminals to roam free, and then imprisoned Goetz when he was forced to defend himself. Thus if the criminals do not succeed in destroying the life of the good person, the Almighty State (which was nevertheless not mighty enough to restrain the criminals) will finish their job FOR THEM.