Sunday, September 03, 2006

Vanity of Vanities

Gates of Vienna has again come to the attention of the tonsorially-impaired éminence grise of Vanity Fair. I refer, of course, to the estimable James Wolcott, who inexplicably drops by the Gates from time to time.

Here’s what he has to say about us this time:

The brain stormers at the Gates of Vienna trying to come up with a punchy new slogan for the War on Terror. And trying. And trying. Among the bubblings from the tar pit, we get: “If you don’t have the brains to know Islam is a threat, you won’t miss your head when it’s gone.” “Terrorism is cancer — it’s time to get radioactive!” “KILL A JIHADI FOR MOMMIE.”

Jamshid al-WalkatOnce again I am so tickled that I can hardly type. Mr. Wolcott has so inspired me that I had to shop a turban onto him in honor of his latest paean to us.

And, if you read his post, you’ll observe the élite cohort with whom we rank in his esteem: Charles Krauthammer, NRO, and David Warren, inter alia. What an honor to be included in such a group!

Here’s an idea of what we could do, in our own small way, to return the favor of his recognition - let’s launch a “Choose an Epithet for James Wolcott Contest”. To get you started, I’ll coin a few myself:

  • The Ocicatastrophe
  • A Man for All Seizures
  • Inanity Fare

You get the idea. What do you think, Viennese Crescents?


XY said...

Here are my slogans:

"Let's moderate Muslims"

And paraphrasing Dr. Pipes:

"Unmoderated Islam is the problem; moderated Islam is the solution."

Doctor Hook said...

I am so glad he quoted my slogan! Now I'm famous!

I think we should just call Wolcott "The Attack Poodle" as in the title of his book. Of course, it would need a new cover picture.....

Ironic how the text still is appropriate.

Francis W. Porretto said...

Ignore Wolcott. He's a person of no discernible achievement, talent, or significance, seeking attention in the only way such a creature can get it: by being offensive.

X said...

He looks like John Simpson to boot.

For those that don't know, John Simpson is a "veteran" reporter (perhaps inveterate would be a better word) for the BBC, who once claimed he was the liberator of Kabul and spends most of his time raving about how subject X, far from being caused by problem Y, is actually entirel the fault of the americans.

kidbuck said...

In the land of the free and the home of the brave,
I just want to be Truman Capote.
In the land of the free and the home of the brave,
I mailed my gonads to NOW and I still have to pay to get laid.
In the land of the free and the home of the brave,
I offered my backside to CAIR and I still only get hit on by queers.
In the land of the free and the home of the brave,
I really respect Rock Hudson.
How do I get on the cover of Rolling Stone,
In the land of the free and the home of the brave?

In Russet Shadows said...

Funny how he's picking on the commenters of Gates of Vienna and confusing them for the sites' authors. Sadly, that tactic is boringly familiar among leftist "journalists" and smacks of both laziness and axe-grinding. I don't mind the fame myself, for he picked my slogan also -- *bows* -- but I bear full responsibility for its creation.

Anyways, slogans for this profesional poop-thrower:

Vanity Fair is the alarm clock of the lunatic left.

Dhimmi much, James?

Confused by logical thought? Don't worry, so is James Wolcott!

Failed English? [Check] Failed Logic? [Check] Write for Vanity Fair? [Check]

Bring back the asylums! [picture of JW]

Vanity Fair: The reason why they invented the stockade.

[pic of James] "I, for one, welcome our Muslim overlords."

Robert said...

Jabbah the Critic

Beach Girl said...

I think this site is too good to miss. While I was busy working on "serious" stuff :) such as Western Nations - Reclaim Your National Sovereignty and American Jihad - based in Sharia Law or War for the New World Order, the boys and girls at the Gates are launching another, much needed I might add, contest.

Love being christened "Viennese Crescents". Just when one thinks it is getting serious, the Baron brings on the humor. Way to go. Need that as we move into our Labor Day day off from work. Another thought, why not the "Viennese Crescents" of the "Viennese Crescent Brigade". We've ordered our uniforms, right? The ones with the ribbons and pointy hat, long sleeves.

What fun for an otherwise boring "holiday".

Beach Girl said...

Jumper for Jihad

As "Jumper for Jihad" suggests, there may well not be an all-out war against militant Islam but then there will be no need when the last sound you hear is blood gurgling from your own throat. By then, it would seem a tad late to change your mind.

"Blog militia", indeed!

I say, "De-escalate this!" Picture of bunker buster bomb with "your mama" painted on the side.

Gates does bring out the best in me!

Abe said...

Tired of combatting dhimmi desk jockeys like Wolcott? Exhausted by the conversion from Islam? Then get away to the Casbah this Labor Day weekend and take in the Burqa Fall Fashion Show!

See you there!

Mother Effingby said...

I'm James Woolcott and I'm a putz.

Wild Bill said...

Aint Vanity Fair the rag that had Dimmi Moore posed naked and pregnant, or was it just body-painted ?? How bout just havin a turbaned head of Wolly attached to the body of Dimmi ?? He could be the next-weeks Infidel Babe at Infidel Bloggers !! EWWWWW

asdfj24972 said...

James Wolcott is a Good Jew who will save us from the big bad evil Muslims.

X said...

Can you really be that dense? If GoV and its happy campers were really the people you make them out to be, why would they be so openly hostile to Chomksy and his ilk?

There are leftist jews, but not all jews are leftist. There are jews who want to destroy everything good in the world, and they'd probably stand at your side in denouncing America's links with Israel, because they hate that country as much as you seem to hate them.

The truth is you just don't like jews. You let your hatred blind you to the reality of our current situation. You prefer to slime people with your hate rather than think about where that hate leads.

X said...

You want people to be, as Marx put it, "free of the Judenten", of the very concept of jewishness. Yes, Marx said that. He was a jew, but he renounced his identity when he wrote Das Kapital. Adolescent ideology is a terrible thing...

Jeremayakovka said...

"Those jellied orbs bobbing in thin, gin-soaked sockets"

If you are so inclined: my entire post on the subject is here.

Jeremayakovka said...

Also: "intellectual vagrant"

Andre_Szara said...

I can't beat "Jabba the Critic" for the “Choose an Epithet for James Wolcott Contest”, but Wolcott has supplied a suggestion in his own post ("the slovenly Debbie Schlussel").

My submission: The very slovenly James Wolcott.

asdfj24972 said...

I respect Noam Chomsky. He is unhypocritical in his beliefs. He wants the same for Israel as he does the rest of the world. There are some people who cannot believe there are Jews who would be so traitorous to spread "tikkun olam" -- the Jewish drive to improve the world by working for peace, egalitarianism, social justice, etc -- to Israel as well.

David S. said...

Asdfj --

You've made it quite clear that you are simply an anti-Semite. I do not think I am alone in saying feel free to comment on this blog, but save the ridiculous jew-bashing for somewhere else, please?

David S. said...

My suggestion: "Dhim-witted Jimmy"

:) Lame I know, but who doesn't like a good pun?

Thanos said...

I like Robert's the best so far, "Jabba the Critic", and it would make for a great photoshop opportunity.

For the rest of you who like contests, here's the Moonbat Tinfoil Hat contest:

sirius_sir said...

Gaia's Stern Rebuker

Mr. Wreaker Rooter

Mother Nature's Fister of Fury

A Man for All (Hurricane) Seasons

Mister Misanthropy