I have no doubt that this latest foe of ours will eventually find itself being ground by the mills of history, just all the others have before them. The Enemy appears in different guises - in fact, he was a regular Hallowe’en party all by himself in the 20th century - but the mission is always the same: to kill the heart’s desire for liberty, and the head’s desire to understand. Galileo, for one, showed us that Truth cannot be silenced no matter how powerful our adversary is, and no matter how righteous he believes himself to be.
On the other hand, the readers who emailed me do have a point: sometimes you need to think on something else.
In that spirit, I offer a joke I stole from Mostly Cajun, a dear soul who gave me a recipe for brown roux made in the microwave. For those readers who know what a chore making brown roux can be, you realize what a great discovery this is. For those who don’t know…ah, well. brown roux is not everyone’s idea of heaven. Just some of us….
Enjoy the story. This here particular fight is as old as heterosexuality...or perhaps I should label it dimorphism for the biology majors.
Creation of man
Eve chats with God. “Lord, I have a problem.”
“What’s the problem, Eve?”
“I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.”
“And why is that Eve?”
“Lord, I am lonely, and I’m sick to death of apples.”
“Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you.”
“Man? What is that Lord?”
“A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He’ll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he’ll give you a hard time. But he’ll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I’ll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and hitting a ball about. He won’t be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly.”
“Sounds great,” says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, “but what’s the catch Lord?”
“Well …you can have him on one condition.”
“And what’s that Lord?”
“As I said he’ll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring…..so you’ll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret… you know, woman to woman.”
Creation of woman
One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, ‘Lord, I have a problem.’
‘What’s the problem, Adam?’, God replies…
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‘Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I’m just not happy’
‘Why is that, Adam?’, comes the reply from the heavens.
‘Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely.’
‘Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a ‘woman’ for you.’
‘What’s a ‘woman’, Lord?’
‘This ‘woman’ will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you.’, replies the heavenly voice.
‘She will be, but this is going to cost you, Adam.’
‘How much will this ‘woman’ cost me Lord?’, Adam replies.
‘She’ll cost you your right arm, your right leg, an eye, an ear, and your left testicle.’
Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face. Finally Adam says to God, ‘Ehhh, what can I get for a rib?’
The rest, as they say, is history.