For a woman who wants to marry and have children, THE major decision in her life will be who she chooses to be the father of her kids.
Her career can carry her to the top, she can win fame and have accolades piled to the sky, she can be wealthy and even believe she’s thin enough… But if her children’s father turns out to be undependable (by her definition), absent too much, and generally leaves the child-raising to her, all her prizes won’t matter. If he doesn’t find his kids a joy, she cannot help but reject him. It is a life wound that doesn’t heal.
From “The Science of Fatherhood: Why Fathers Matter”:
For decades, psychologists and other researchers assumed that the mother-child bond was the most important one in a kid’s life. They focused on studying those relationships, and however a child turned out, mom often got the credit — or blame.They could have just asked any mother and saved a whole lot of “science” money. This is so obvious already that it’s embarrassing to see their earnest “findings”.
Within the last several decades, though, scientists are increasingly realizing just how much dads matter. Just like women, fathers’ bodies respond to parenthood, and their parenting style affects their kids just as much, and sometimes more, than mom’s.
“We’re now finding that not only are fathers influential, sometimes they have more influence on kids’ development than moms,” said Ronald Rohner, the director of the Center for the Study of Interpersonal Acceptance and Rejection at the University of Connecticut.
Better yet, they could’ve asked the kids, starting with themselves.
Read the whole thing. The bolded areas above are linked in the original, and they have some interesting conclusions on the parental power game.
Hat tips: Fjordman for the science, and National Review Online for the video.
4 comments:
There are some things in life that don't need to be tested; parenting is one of those things.
What a wonderful father! I can't see Obama having family videos like those. In fact I don't believe that I've ever seen the Obamas that openly affectionate, that loving.
@ Nemesis-
I presume you meant the scientists who found the money for that unnecessary project. I found a few of their conclusions interesting and on thinking them over, decided they bore out my own experience.
I teased the Baron this morning that his son had called to wish him a Happy Father's Day before going off to sing in the church choir (lucky boy has found Bach) and then rushing to work.
Then I thought of all the ppl I know who would have been dismayed on hearing their kid was attending church. I wonder if that practice has become like being conservative or being gay - something many of us DON'T tell family and friends just to avoid arguments and estrangements and snide comments.
Sad, innit?
Dymphna....your presumption was correct. I often wonder too if those who receive money for 'worthy' projects are really clued in Scientists out to make a name for themselves at all cost, or just lost souls looking for a nice body to attach to? What passes for scientific progression today would dismay those who have gone before them.
Your son attending Church reminds me of my youngest son, 21 years, who reads the Bible. He has conservative tendencies though not a church goer, and like his parents, he firmly believes in God. It would gladden my heart and that of his mother's if he were to take up the challenge and attend his local Church.
That would make us so proud!
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