Saturday, October 31, 2009

Amnesty and Pardon for White Folks Redux

From Walter Williams, the economist at George Mason University, a gift to all the worried whiteys out there.

I post this Proclamation occasionally to remind you that all has long been forgiven. Go have a beer on Dr. Williams and ignore the President's attacks.

Remember cries of "raaacism" are so...so utterly 2007. Time to move on.

Walter Williams says so.

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Walter Williams header

Proclamation of Amnesty and Pardon Granted to All Persons of European Descent

Whereas, Europeans kept my forebears in bondage some three centuries toiling without pay,

Whereas, Europeans ignored the human rights pledges of the Declaration of Independence and the United States Constitution,

Whereas, the Emancipation Proclamation, the Thirteenth and Fourteenth Amendments meant little more than empty words,

Therefore, Americans of European ancestry are guilty of great crimes against my ancestors and their progeny.

But, in the recognition Europeans themselves have been victims of various and sundry human rights violations to wit: the Norman Conquest, the Irish Potato Famine, Decline of the Hapsburg Dynasty, Napoleonic and Czarist adventurism, and gratuitous insults and speculations about the intelligence of Europeans of Polish descent,

I, Walter E. Williams, do declare full and general amnesty and pardon to all persons of European ancestry, for both their own grievances, and those of their forebears, against my people.

Therefore, from this day forward Americans of European ancestry can stand straight and proud knowing they are without guilt and thus obliged not to act like damn fools in their relationships with Americans of African ancestry.

Walter E. Williams, Gracious and Generous Grantor

[Proclamation Ends Here]

6 comments:

samh said...

What's that about the europeans of polish descent?

The nazi treated Poland pretty bad, but have they been targeted by others?

I can't help but think of Roman Palanski here... But I don't think he is been targeted by racist!

Viking said...

I feel so much better now. thanks.

Zenster said...

Therefore, from this day forward Americans of European ancestry can stand straight and proud knowing they are without guilt and thus obliged not to act like damn fools in their relationships with Americans of African ancestry.

However nice these sentiments might be, for me they are a day late and a dollar short. I've already been standing straight and proud of my European ancestry for all of my life and leave it to other "damn fools" to bear white man's so-called "burden".

If one wants to witness the lingering "scars" of colonialism, look no further than India. The sub-continent has been left by its British invaders to suffer the ravages of Asia's largest English-speaking democracy, the region's finest railway system, a functional parliament that relies upon elected representation, a highly effective educational system and rule of law instead of the shari'a-based farce masquerading as justice that besets them on either side.

Scars indeed. Would that Africa had emerged from its colonial period so encumbered by the crimes of White Man's Burden.

Takuan Seiyo said...

There are non-Americans posting here, unaware of the Polish jokes in the US. I am a Pole, American now if residing elsewhere, and have never been offended by them.

Someone once sent me a gift of a “Polish alarm-clock” consisting of a candle with 15-mins. marks on it. You are supposed to stick it where the sun don’t shine to the depth of the hour when you want to wake up.

I think it’s one of the funniest things I ever saw, though the stereotype is mostly false. The Poles have one of the highest mean IQs in Europe -- from 3rd place at 108.3 according to some studies, to 8th place at 99 according to others. What is true is that until WW2 only the lower, uneducated classes emigrated to the US, hence the stereotype.

I’ve been looking at a different phenomenon of rancor justified by past persecution that’s well past its expiration date now. That’s the fear and hostility to Christianity that Jews express either in their political affiliations or in the express words and actions of their iconic figures – the recent Larry David “piss-Christ” episode being one egregious example. It’s high time for some prominent Jews to publish a statement of indulgence and forgiveness, a la Prof. Williams, and to start acting accordingly.

Robohobo said...

I, for one, am so thankful for the gracious pardon of Prof. Williams. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Massa'.

Dymphna said...

@Takuan Seiyo --

I should have taken our non-American readers into account. The Polish jokes mostly originated in Chicago.

There are Italiaan jokes (New York and New Jersey), Irish jokes (new England and New York), damn Yankee jokes (anywhere south of the Mason Dixon line), city slicker jokes (from Maine to Iowa), California jokes (you know-- the residents are all nuts and flakes), etc., etc.

Oh, and Jewish jokes, of course. And Russian imports and Catholic jokes.

What's not to laugh at? I like West Virginia jokes myself.

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robohobo-- yeah.

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Zenster-- who removed your funny bone? Make them give it back.