Wednesday, November 19, 2008

It's All a Cock-Up at Queens University

Something very queer strange in going on the North country — that vast expanse of niceness known as The Land of You Can’t Make This Stuff Up has come up with even more Orwellian stupidity.

Poor Canada. The country which serves as an example of what happens when your major virtue is Being Polite. Oh, to think I was almost born there; it curdles the soul — sorry, the inner self — to think on what might have been my fate had I lingered there beyond the in utero status I acquired in Toronto. Wait — somebody find a hall monitor. Ask them if I can say “utero”. Ask them if it’s on “The List”.

How sad that this once valiant country has been reduced to squealers, speech parsers, and the poor victims they afflict. Don’t try anything naughty — such as perhaps discussing “gay Paris” with your best friend. It’ll be into the outer darkness with you, boyo (oh, wait — in November it’s all “outer darkness” up there).

Just think of it: a new bogeyman to use on the children. “Watch your mouth, darling, or the Speech Squad will come and get you. Wouldn’t that be terrible? Mommy wouldn’t get to see you until after your re-education. So talk nice, dear or think how sad I’d be without you.”

Okay… you get the idea. I’m sorry for the dalliance but this juicy bit of “news” works on so many levels that it’s difficult to get around to revealing the hard little kernel of truth here without interrupting each unintentionally hilarious sentence.

Some excerpts from The Globe and Mail:

Tais-toi!
Students at Queen’s University who sprinkle their dialogue with an assortment of “homo” or “retarded” could find out the hard way that not everyone finds their remarks acceptable.

The Kingston university has hired student facilitators to step in when they overhear homophobic slurs, remarks bashing women or racially tinged insults, along with an array of other language that could be deemed offensive.

“If people are having a conversation with offensive content and they’re doing it loud enough for a third person to hear it … it’s not private,” said Jason Laker, dean of student affairs at Queen’s.

The initiative, believed to be the first of its kind in Canada, is part of a broader program begun at the school this fall to foster diversity and encourage students to think about their beliefs.

Yeah, try getting your mind around this brain-blower of a story. It’s not hard to put yourself in the position of the poor sod who says something to his friend that the “facilitator” sitting next to them finds offensive. Off to re-education camp for you, buddy. Maybe your friend gets to accompany you for listening and not reporting you immediately?

Let’s consider the devils in all these details:

First: What academic bureaucrat retard dreamed up this mindless scheme? That’s one job right there which could be trimmed immediately, saving the school lots of money, not to mention avoiding the worldwide shame Queens University will garner as the story spreads. And it ought to spread as far and wide as possible.

Second, What kind of person would willingly take on a paying job that required spying on their fellow human beings? I mean, imagine showing up for your paycheck. Is your income based on the number of students you manage to expose? Do you get a bonus for particularly un- p.c. words? Is “homo” worth a dollar (oops, a loon), while “bimbo” only gets you half that? What’s the prize word that each of these cheesy hall monitors lusts to hear so they can hightail it to administration with the hapless sheep in tow?

Third: Why is the student body at large not holding a candle-light vigil commemorating the death of free speech at Queens College? Where is the indignation? Ummm… based on rants I’ve read, many of them are too drunk to even know about this, much less care. As one person said bitterly in the comments here:

They’ve done NOTHING for years about the violence, lawlessness, noise, rowdiness, keg parties, etc in the community… but now they are going to lecture them if someone over hears a private conversation they don’t like. What the heck is wrong with that place???

He’d better be careful. The Hate Speech Police will be arriving soon if he doesn’t tone down that hate rhetoric. Those drunken bozos are not in school to learn. They occupy a space that is designed to keep them off the streets and out of trouble long enough for most of them to mature past binge drinking. The ones who die of alcohol poisoning? Just unfortunate statistics in some Human Relations Office file.

Fourth: Do the parents of these six “speech facilitators” know what their children are doing? Have they disinherited the little morons yet?

Fifth: Here’s a conundrum for the Speech Police. What happens when they come upon someone who suffers from Tourette’s Syndrome and this unfortunate bursts out with streams of “inappropriate” speech? They sure can’t send a disabled person to re-education class, can they? That would be more offensive than the sufferer’s outbursts. Besides, just contemplate the disruptions his eruptions would cause the idjit whose job it was to re-educate the bad students.

Sixth: Explain in what way “diversity” is promoted by an intolerance of others’ speech.

Just to demonstrate how far these kids have sunk, here’s another quote from the story:

Some students fear the university’s program borders on oppressive.

Well, duh! They fear the program borders on “oppressive”? What part of mind rape do these poor sheep not feel? Someone pass the smelling salts… I grow faint in the presence of such migraine-inducing petrifaction. I want to open up their crania, look at the empty space and ask them where the cerebrum went.

But who can awaken these dimwits long enough to permit them to smell the moral rot that eats at the foundations of their culture? The spell of intimidation is so strong by now that they are zombie-fied fodder for the vast bureacracy to mold into model citizens — Model A, Model B, Model C, Model C-1a36 (a modified model).

But it’s not any better in Baja Canada. In fact, it may be worse: kids here will turn others in for free; they don’t need no stinkin’ pay to squeal about things being “unfair” or to turn in students who mutter about the stupidity of affirmative action or the vapid vapors arising from the Gender Studies Department.

In fact, in the good ol’ American tradition, which is not hindered by Canadian courtesy, students will self-righteously bash you around for wearing the wrong political button in public. The nerve of you!

Did you know there is a special circle in Dante’s Hell reserved for speech police and their minions?
- - - - - - - - -
The souls (“Welcome to our circle, folks. Surpriiise! And yes, you do have souls after all so deal with it…”) who end up there will have no tongues. In compensation, they’ll grow super large ears, all the better to hear the non-stop politically incorrect FREE speech they tried so hard to stamp out whilst they still walked the earth, peeping and peering into other people’s affairs. Giant loudspeakers, set on eternal replay will echo the sounds of “gay” and “fat” and “dumb” and “blind”. Not to mention “deaf” and “idiot”…you can make up the rest of the vocabulary that the tiresomely offended will be forced to hear. Suggestions are welcome…just keep them PG-13.

Personally, I think Chazzer should consider applying to Queens College as their Supernumerary Speech Control Poobah. He could ride around campus on his snazzy bike, carrying his little green banning stick, his pony tail whiffling in the breeze as he whacks offenders when they step out of line… kind of like the Puritans did to members of the congregation who nodded off during those interminable Sunday services.

See, those Puritans were determined to whack the miscreants back into something resembling a wakeful state. You didn’t know Chazzer’s job had such a long and venerable lineage, did you? Must wear the poor fellow out, having to maintain his level of vigilance.

Stick around. You’ll learn a little history and we’ll say wicked things like “gay Paris” and “hey, look at the cute buns on that hunk” (said by Dymphna to the Baron, not vice versa… though as his vision dims, who knows?). We’ll talk about babe lawyers or women who decide to become policemen. Maybe we’ll rummage around for a better word than “honky” — now that is one lame epithet. How about “pale slime face”? It has a certain je ne said quoi, n’est-ce pas?

Which reminds me: if you are monolingual and your mono is English is “merde” really off limits? The first French I ever learned was from a little boy from Avignon who spit out “tais-toi!” with great vehemence. It sounded so much better than “shut up!” — the latter phrase likely to earn a lecture from Sister Benignus. “Tais-toi”, though, passed right by her Irish ears. So Gabriel taught us things like “merde” and… well, I’ve forgotten the others. There was simply no reinforcement for the verboten vocabulary Gabriel bestowed upon us before he left us after fifth grade. But now all those words formerly forbidden or whispered — the English versions, anyway — are spoken openly now. As in, “wha’ the fu’, who gives a fookin’ shit, man? No shit.” And other such delicacies.

Thus, I come to the reason for the existence of the Speech Police. Since there are no more profane words considered out of bounds ( as they once were) we are left with the microscopic dregs of politically incorrect speech. Someone is allowed to assault your ears with his loud foul mouth, but you may not dare utter the single syllable, “queer” — even if you’re referring to something that has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

The Victorians would have understood. They were Speech Police much like the ones who harass us in the present. They just chose different words with which to offend themselves.

Plus ça change, y’all.


Oh, if you want to send an email to Queens University’s administration telling them what you think of their unutterably dumb idea, here’s the contact page. See if you can remain courteous while being as politically incorrect as possible.

For example, you could tell them they were intolerant. That’s a mortal sin in p.c. land, and it’s exactly what they are teaching their speech police and the victims — to be intolerant of one another.

Buncha loony tunes up there. They wouldn’t know an ethical violation if they fell over it while hurrying to the re-education camp.


Thanks to JD for the tip

17 comments:

babs said...

Will the speech police get to wear armbands? That would be way cool!

JohnLobenstein said...

Shame Shame Dymphna.

You should not be ridiculing people suffering from a pronounced deficiency in synaptic resources

/sarc

I hope this is not a double post. On my previous attempt I got a weird maessage about a duplicate action.

Avery Bullard said...

At the federal political level there may be good news on the free speech front.

See here

The section of the so-called Human Rights Act that led to the steyn inquisition may soon be removed.

Gregory said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dymphna said...

@JohnLobenstein

I hope this is not a double post. On my previous attempt I got a weird maessage about a duplicate action.

Blooger comments are whacked. I am so tired of being messed over when I attempt to use them that I always Control C my comment and wait to see what happens. If it comes up with a "so-sorry-can't-find-page" message, then I close the window and go back to whichever post I'm on and hit the "post a comment" button to bring up a fresh page.

However -- and this is an important stipulation -- I don't just click that button in the usual way. Instead, I right click the darn thing and then choose "open in a new window" from the list they give you.

When you do this, it seems to get past the blooger boogers and you are taken to the comments section, but it is now a whole page to itself. Fills the screen like a normal webpage instead of these little box jobbies.

From there it's a simple matter to scroll down and just Control V your saved comment into the waiting box.

So far, this hasn't failed for me, but still, I save my original comment on the clipboard just to make sure they don't mess up again.

I must say in Blooger's comment section defense, that some of the other places that use word press or whatever, are also plagued with this. And some don't leave you a way to simply hit the comment button and try again.
______

BTW, I like your 'round-about-euphemism for dummies. Clever.

One of my sons wrote a funny song called (full title) "My Girl Can't Pay Attention to Me, She's Got ADD" -- a tune known usually as "ADD". It may be the first lyrics ever written that incorporated "synapses" into its lyrics. The song is on his CD, Hogwaller Ramblers, but I can't find it, of course.

Dymphna said...

Avery Bullard--

This is a great link. Not only for the news you provide, but for some of the info Levant has on this creepy group.

Just so everyone knows about the news Mr. Bullard provided, here is an excerpt to tempt you to click the link in his comment:

...the big news of the week: the overwhelming support at the Conservative Party convention for repealing section 13 of the Canadian Human Rights Act, the “hate speech” provision that has turned the Canadian Human Rights Commission into a corrupt censor.

[...]

I’ll also write about what kind of trench warfare the CHRC will likely engage in, in the coming weeks. They know they’re losing, and these people have shown they’re not above any tactic or trick. Remember, a government audit criticized them for having no code of ethics – they’ll do anything to survive and keep their sinecure. I mean, really: if the CHRC knowingly hires a corrupt ex-police officer as their investigator, and if they approve staff joining neo-Nazi organizations like Stormfront – and that’s just what they do in a normal day’s work! – do you really think they’d stop at anything to derail reform of their corrupt fiefdom? Get ready for the dirty tricks.


Don't worry, Baja Canadians...we will have such government groups firmly planted in DC very shortly. They will sneak under the radar in unrelated legislation and you won't know it till you're facing a fine or worse.

laine said...

Though the Queen's initiative is misconceived, Canadians are pikers compared to what's already going on in the good old USA where university staff rat out their peers and get them fired not for disparaging language but for telling a truth that the complainer doesn't like.

Case in point, Larry Summers whose point (backed by the science)that more men are at the extremes of mathematical ability and that may explain their predominance in theoretical math positions made some woman professor "feel faint and about to vomit". She and her fellow hurlers got him turfed from the presidency at Harvard by a vote of science illiterates and/or the terminally pc who staff Obama's alma mater.

Then there were the dozens of professors at Duke who signed a paper-lynching of the white lacrosse players falsely accused of raping a black stripper. Not one of them offered an apology.

So the damage these student snitches north of the border can do is strictly minor league, though still undesirable. Their intervention will be so unwelcome and so plain weird that this idea may die the ignominious death it deserves.

Joanne said...

It's a good way to get gop in your cola....not offering any ideas or anything.

Dymphna said...

Joanne--

Why, your wicked side is showing!

Dymphna said...

Hey y'all,

Don't forget Einsenhower's "Operation Wetback" which happened during his administration.

Some poor professor was teaching this in a class and was reported. He refused to sign up for re-education classes.

Thank God.

Moar Xenu! said...

Rally the chans!

las said...

Listen Dymphna...

Your article highlights an ill placed, dismissive, even condescending tone directed toward Canada.

Laine makes a very good point here. Canada is more progressive (I mean that in the true sense of the word) in confronting the Islamist dangers than the US at present.

All universities in both the US and Canada are loaded down with this cartload of assorted PC baggery. The new Speech Police at Queens are just the administrative end result of the college "group think" phenomenon.

Actually Canada’s stand on Durban II, and it's upcoming Geneva hate fest should inspire equal snubbing from Canada in 2009.

Another hopeful sign is the Conservative Party Conference’s recent vote to deal with the pernicious hate speech article Section 13-1 of the Canadian Human Rights Act. This vote passed by a margin of 99.5 percent… astounding if one realizes that the Canadian Human Rights Commissions were virtually unknown at the beginning of this year. The looming destruction of free speech was unrecognized until Ezra Levant and Maclean's Magazine and Mark Steyn were dragged before these festering Canadian star chambers.

These two issues are hopeful, if tentative, signs that at least one Anglo democracy is beginning to wake up.

No...I am far less worried about Canada of late. I am, however, more concerned about the US. It is the United States that is sinking fast.

The scale of Islamist interference and leftist belligerence is stunning. CAIR, ISNA, the multitudinous MSAs, concessions to Muslim sensibilities... all make Canada appear warm and sleepy despite our climate.

Scary scenes in the US like the Democrats anti-prop 8 screaming hordes, massive media malpractice, the belligerence of the Democrats' apoplectic tantrums and one-way democracy, and the investiture of Rosemary’s Baby in the White House ... all portend to the "new order" in the US. The inmates are definitely running the asylum now.

American finger pointing at Canada... I would have agreed at one time, but Canada is beginning to look almost heavenly in contrast to the horrors that are being unleashed south of our border.

Graham Dawson (Archonix) said...

Las, if you'd been reading this site for more than 30 seconds you might find that Dymphna has plenty, plenty to say about the United States and its current path.

This article is about Canada. Yet, it does contain this tidbit that more than a cursory read would reveal:

"In fact, in the good ol’ American tradition, which is not hindered by Canadian courtesy, students will self-righteously bash you around for wearing the wrong political button in public. The nerve of you!"

Not enough for you? Or are you requiring some sort of "fairness" doctrine where every article mentions the flaws of every country all the time? If you don't mind me saying so I find that to be a rather stupid idea. If you had to write about everything, you'd never be able to write about anything. So, as I said (and as Dymphna heavily implied through the article's content), this article is about Canada. It isn't finger pointing, it's reportage. If you want an article about the US, or Great Britain, or wherever else, there's bound to be one in the archive.

las said...

Archonix
If you were to check your ire at the door you would have detected that I was, tongue in cheek, agreeing with Dymphna.

All those things he said were true. That is precisely the point I was making (I’m sorry you missed the subtlety) when I said “finger pointing”...So I will repeat it again... “American finger pointing at Canada... I would have agreed at one time, but Canada is beginning to look almost heavenly in contrast to the horrors that are being unleashed south of our border.”

So I am agreeing with Dymphna... all those charges about silly Canadian courtesy are painfully true. But this is changing and I have been observing the change for some time now. I’ve experienced the wrath of Canadian liberals and their George Bush hating ways... no silly Canadian courtesy there. But how else can you characterize statements like:

“Poor Canada. The country which serves as an example of what happens when your major virtue is Being Polite. Oh, to think I was almost born there; it curdles the soul — sorry, the inner self — to think on what might have been my fate had I lingered there beyond the in utero status I acquired in Toronto.”

Sure, I appreciate the caustic brand of humour.. it is funny and fitting and even deserved. And there is lots to ridicule. But I am an America-phile, yet for all its faults, I could not conceive of of uttering such a dismissive condescending statement about the misadventure of being born in America, or America having only one virtue (a phony one at that). It was a simple observation on tone. Archonix, use buckshot next time, that way you can hit your target.

Graham Dawson (Archonix) said...

I have to admit, the internet makes me blind to these things. can I apologise?

Graham Dawson (Archonix) said...

It's probably time I took a break now that I think about it. I don't want to turn into a mini CJ and start sniping at friendlies...

So again, apologies, and I'll try and be more observant in future.

las said...

Archonix:
apology appreciated, your missive was not in keeping with other good things I have read on your own blog.
regards,
las