Sunday, April 29, 2007

Making The Modern Case for Monasticism

The future Baron had an eye-opening experience last night. Here’s his redacted email, protecting the innocent and the guilty:

Dear Guys —

I know it’s late, but I thought you might “like” to hear about this. I had a fairly frightening experience with a young liberal co-ed tonight.

“Max” and I had water guns and were using them to squirt people at various points during the party [held at our dorm suite]...

Mean girlThis intoxicated young woman suddenly attacked me, trying to take the gun...

When I wouldn’t let her take it, she grabbed my glasses instead. Afraid she might break them; I grabbed her arm — without hurting her — and took my glasses back. At which point the girl said:

“I could call the police.”

I was mystified. “About what?”

“You attacked me!”

I looked at her, up and down. “There aren’t any marks on you.”

She drew her own fingernails down her skin. “Not yet. There could be.”

At that point I decided —
- - - - - - - - - -
1) she was drunk, and
2) not worth talking to.

But I think this is an example of a perspective endemic on college campuses: the police aren’t there to protect you; they’re there to help enforce petty vendettas on men. Rather than stand on their own two feet, women are relying on men to help them out against other men.

If that’s not sexist and establishing women as an inferior, weaker, species, I don’t know what is.

Love,

Yer still intact and un-arrested boy

Needless to say, I had visions of the future Baron being hauled off to the hoosegow with expensive legal proceedings to follow. As you may recall, this kind of thing has happened before at his school.

I called him this morning to suggest that he at least make a “concerned report.” He waved away my worries, assuring me that she wasn’t invited to the party in the first place, and that she was far too intoxicated to recall the events of last night.

I am no so sanguine as he, especially after he related a later incident in which he had to remove her and her boyfriend from his bedroom where they claimed to be “dancing.” After he managed to extract them from his room, he locked the door against future intrusions.

Feminism is a snake pit now. It exists solely to promote abortion rallies and arrange emasculation events. The average guy has no idea when his very own borking experience is going to hit him upside the head.

Since these attacks come out of the blue, the safest place today is a monastery.

This will suit the women fine, until they discover they’re not allowed in. Then it will be choruses of “No Fair!” followed with an investigation by the Equal Opportunity Employment Commission.

Welcome, my son, to the new and darker Dark Ages.

10 comments:

spackle said...

There was an author (whos name eludes me at the moment) who suggested that for western culture to survive the coming "Dark Ages" that men and women of learning should form new monastic orders. This concept saved us once before and in all seriousness this seems to me to be a really good idea. Our institutions of "Higher Learning" until the last 45 years could have been looked at as monastic orders dedicated to the ideals of the "enlightenment", but have turned into high priced indoctrination camps. Nothing like paying for the pleasure of acting as your own destroyer. I dont know about you but I would rather pay for a black robe and some real estate somewhere off the coast of Scotland.Any other takers?

gun-totin-wacko said...

Sickening. Most of the women I know are neurotic messes. And I'm long past college age.

I surely don't recall ever hearing about a case like this when I was a student. It's just frigging surreal.

And I'm with you. Perhaps he needs to go on record with something. After all, she can still try something if her "dancing" boyfriend was moderately sober. If she woke up with scratches on her arm, then who know what false memories could imprint themselves in her feeble mind.

PapaBear said...

The Future Baron should take note of the problems encountered by Duke lacross team when they permitted an intoxicated woman of doubtful mental stability access to their residence.

The FB got off lucky this time

J said...

There was an article in a NY/NJ (?) Newspaper last week ago about a bunch of Lesbians who attacked a man (he spent several days in the Hospital and was unable to work for a while). Anyway the excuse they gave for their disproportionate use of force was "He as a man". (He had basically gotten into a verbal argument with one of the women and they made it physical).

Gryffilion said...

An update: the girl has no recollection of that night--taking my glasses, almost breaking them, or attacking me. I suppose this is another lesson: drunk collegiate girls (I suppose I shouldn't call them women, because they certainly don't act mature enough to earn the monniker) are in a position to do things that other people may regret.

Joshua said...

Perhaps you wouldn't have provoked such a response if you hadn't tried to turn your party into a wet t-shirt contest.

(I suppose I shouldn't call them women, because they certainly don't act mature enough to earn the monniker)

Someone of college age who shoots water guns at a party is hardly in a position to opine on the maturity of others. Lameness, perhaps. Maturity, no.

Dymphna said...

Joshua--

It was a party in *his* dorm suite, which she crashed; she was not invited and he didn't know her.

The water gun fight didn't involve her and wasn't aimed at her at all. It was a bunch of guys celebrating the fact that they're almost out of there.

She and her boyfriend proceeded to use other people's wine to drink themselves into a state of inebriation and then attempted to use his bed to enjoy themselves. Do you like cleaning up body fluids from people you don't know?

The water gun fun was directed between and among the male room mates, it was not an excuse to wet girls' t-shirts. And even had that been the case, why didn't this girl leave instead of interfering and then attempting to use a stranger's bedroom for her assignation?

If you don't get it about waterguns you're definitely fun-impaired, which is a few rungs down the ladder from "lame."

This college is super-easy on drunken women; real one sided. One guy has a civil defamation case against a girl who cried "rape." Even when the police said it wasn't, the school still expelled him and got counseling for her. He's allowed to return to the school for his final semester when she has finished there -- in two years. He's probably going to win his suit.

Alcohol is the problem in this story, not water guns, nor your implied salacious reasons for using them.

Joshua said...

I'm sure that's what he told you. Having been a college-age male myself, I envy your son that his mother is so endearingly gullible.

djw said...

Um, yeah, I think Joshua's on to something here. Your naivete is almost touching.

Given your update, I think this story amounts to "drunk obnoxious couple make asses of themselves at dorm party," which is to say "dog bites man."

Gryffilion said...

Nothing like comment-board psychology!

Even though this post is long since done and Joshua has no doubt moved on to bigger bridges to troll under, I still find the responses this post elicited amazing. I had no idea the level of Oedipal embarrassment that honest communication between parents and children implied.

Also, apparently I'm Catholic and go to Vespers? Who knew?