Speedy Indeedy

 
Those of you who live in busy cities with all the amenities haven’t struggled with dial-up internet services since you were in … well, whatever you were wearing back then. However, those of us in the bucolic Middle of Beyond (you can find our space on maps marked “Here Be Dragons”) have had to put up with connections that get more and more problematic as web pages get fancier and scriptier, and absolute hell to load.

With dial-up you learn to cut the connection to the page as soon as the text is finished. It would be nice to see the pictures, but I could take a small vacation while waiting for the whole page to come in.

No more. We hung up the phone and got internet satellite. So far, so wonderful. It’s like a toy to click on Roger Simon and see his sweet mug pop up so quickly, followed immediately by the whole darn page. Wow. It’s like trading in a model T for a helicopter. Only not so noisy.

Now I get to go to The Adventures of Chester and see his header before the text loads. And, oh my, All Things Beautiful really is --beautiful, I mean -- once you can see all her pictures. They’re so lush.

It was a toss-up which took longer, The Anchoress or Atlas Shrugs. Now I can read the whole thing with just a click. It’s like being in a candy store. So is Sissy Willis. I love her pictures but she makes me want to buy a good camera and play around with images.

Oh, and now I can get a daily dose of the curmudgeon at Daily Pundit. Perhaps some of it will rub off on me. Rant, rant.

I’ve enjoyed Florida Cracker, but I’ve never been able to wait for her pictures, either. I’ve had to be satisfied with text. No more, señor!

Peaktalk seemed to have an attack of paralysis every time I tried to get on. A blue-gray screen for an eternity…kiss that interminable wait goodbye.

It will be especially nice to go over and bother a4g at Point Five. I don’t have to sit on that broken red curb waiting for the text to appear. Now I get to be a pest. And for the antidote, I get to visit Winds of Change, where important topics are going on without me. But no more.

Why I might even visit Dr. Sanity without swearing at the weird things her page does under the slo-mo of dialup. You wouldn’t believe…it’s a made-to-order psychotic break watching that sucker load…and load…and load. She may even have Little Green Footballs beat in the waitng-for-godot department.

When I was growing up, we didn’t have a car. I used to envy anyone who could just jump in, turn the key and take off. What careless luxury those families with cars enjoyed. But I’ve spent more time waiting for pages to load than I ever spent standing on the corner waiting for the No. 4 Murray Hill to arrive. The ony difference was you could wait for a page to come up without getting rained on. Though I hear that with internet satellite you get rain fade -- I put up with one and I'm sure I'll survive the other.

So now I got me own car and me own speedy internet connection. Last night, just for fun, I went over to L'Ombre de l'Olivier just to watch the olives dangle. Very pretty, indeed.

Of such small pleasures is heaven made.


Hmmm...I wonder what uses the Baron will have for this lovely contraption? Maybe I shouldn't ask? Oh, never mind...he likes them with a little heft and some ability to cook. I don't think you can get pot roast on line. Yet.