Terrible Tuesday

Today is Terrible Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006, the anniversary of Saladin’s victory over the crusaders. Mad Jad, the Bad Boy of Tehran, is supposed to do something today that will make us infidels quake in our boots and rue the day we disrespected Islam, the Prophet, and Persia, in that order.

I woke up this morning and opened the laptop with some trepidation to look at the news. It’s already quitting time in Tehran; whatever was going to happen has surely already happened.

Hmm… Nothing much going on. Is this the Terrible Tuesday story?

Iran hinted Tuesday that its response to a Western incentive package aimed at persuading it to roll back its nuclear program would include constructive ideas that it hopes will open the way for negotiations.

Tehran reiterated Tuesday its intention to meet its self-imposed deadline later Tuesday to reply to the package. The official Iranian News Agency said it would deliver its response at 4 p.m. local time (8:30 a.m. EDT)

So Iran is going to stall a little while longer with “constructive ideas” and “sincere dialogue” and etc blah yak, all that tired diplospeak we’ve become so accustomed to over the last few years, especially when the UN is involved.

Is that it? This is what Terrible Tuesday will bring?

If it were Jacques Chirac or Jose Zapatero who pledged something and didn’t deliver it by the deadline, no one would notice. After all, it’s just another campaign promise by a cynical politician; there’s no expectation that he will ever meet it.

But this is Mad Jad himself, Dr. Evil of the Axis of Evil, the Head Bad Dude of the whole world. As M. Simon has said, all he has is his street cred with the Muslim masses. Take that away, and he’s just a cheap hoodlum in a bad suit.

I’ll tell you, if the hands of the clock move up to midnight in Tehran with no more than this, we ought to start blowing the biggest collective raspberry we can manage at Mr. Ahmadinejad. If all he has is his street cred, then a good concentrated dissing will take him down.

Have a laugh at his expense! Dr. Sanity should write doggerel mocking him. Point Five can do one of their classic satires. Cartoonists can lampoon ol’ Halo Head up one side and down the other.

After all, since our governments refuse to tackle the threat of the mullahs, this is the only weapon we’ve got.


Update: Dr. Sanity has answered the call! She’s riffing on Maria Muldaur:

Midnight at the oasis
Send your camel to bed
The mullah’s smiling faces
Must be a little red.

You’ll have to visit the Doc to read the rest of the lyrics…