The Right Job for the Right Person. Ummm...Leftish Person?

Here’s one for you. Well, for some of you. No, wait…maybe not quite suitable for anyone who reads this blog whilst sober.

Please observe the special features of this job as you scan the ad. Then I’ll give you my guess at to whom this position would suit very well indeed.

And before you ask: yes, this is a real listing. From Craig’s List:

Communities of African Descent (COAD) Media Intern (Midtown)

Communities of African Descent (COAD) Media Intern
Location: New York
Fall/Winter Internship — 12 weeks — 15-20 hrs. per week
UNPAID

PLEASE NOTE: Applicants must be enrolled in a degree program at least half-time as a graduate or undergraduate student, or have successfully completed a graduate or undergraduate degree within the 12 months preceding the application deadline.

Description:

The Communities of African Descent (COAD) Media Program was created to ensure that mainstream, black and LGBT media outlets feature authentic, fair and unbiased black LGBT voices and stories.

The COAD Media Intern will support the efforts of the team as they monitor media outlets, respond to problematic and defamatory media coverage, develop media analysis and criticism, and actively pitch story ideas to media outlets nationwide.

The COAD Media Intern will monitor print, broadcast and online media outlets; conduct research; draft news items and media analysis for GLAAD’s website and blog; and perform other tasks as needed.

The COAD Media Intern will report to the COAD Media Field Strategist in GLAAD’s New York office.

Qualifications:

- - - - - - - - -

• Applicants MUST have a basic interest and knowledge of black community and the black LGBT community.
  
• Applicants should have a demonstrated interest in advocacy work around LGBT and progressive issues, progressive communications or journalism.
  
• Applicants must have exceptional research and writing skills.
  
• Applicants must have strong organizational skills, with the ability to manage multiple tasks to meet deadlines.
  
• Applicants must have computer proficiency in word processing, database work, email and Internet research; also a familiarity with multimedia content a plus.
  
• Applicants must have the ability to work collaboratively and effectively with people of diverse races, ages, ethnicities, orientations and gender identities.

Contact:

Name: Human Resources (no phone calls, please)
Email: jobs@glaad.org

The following MUST be included in your application:

1.		A cover letter outlining your interest and experience specific to this position
2.		A current resume

The title of the position (such as “Advertising Intern”) MUST appear in the first line of the email. GLAAD will accept applications until filled.

Other Notes:

• GLAAD does not have the ability to provide relocation benefits to interested parties.
  
• GLAAD is a business casual dress environment.
  
• Candidates MUST be able to pass a criminal background check.
  
• The above statements are intended to describe the general nature and level of work performed by people assigned to this classification. They are not intended to be construed as an exhaustive list of all job duties performed by the personnel so classified.
  
• Management reserves the right to revise or amend duties at any time.
  
• This job description reflects management’s assignment of essential functions; it does not prescribe or restrict the tasks that may be assigned. Critical features of this job are described under the headings below. They may be subject to change at any time due to reasonable accommodation or other reasons.
  
• Selections are made as the applicant pool allows and continue until the position is filled.

Compensation: UNPAID
This is a part-time job.
This is at a non-profit organization.
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Yes, I agree: this job definitely falls under the category of “If That Don’t Beat All…”

As a GoV reader, can you pass a criminal background check? Hmmm…I thought as much.

There are so many interesting aspects to this position; it’s hard to pick just one. But here’s a hint that you’d soon be enduring The Boss From Hell:

Management reserves the right to revise or amend duties at any time.

I can just picture some poor soul who is given his/her (I’m not being politically correct here. Transgendered persons may find personal pronouns problematic) duties one day only to find them changed the next. With bosses like this, you only find out about the new duties when you start to perform the ones you were given the day before. I had a boss once who should’ve written my job description in disappearing ink.

So…are you thinking this job will go unfilled? Are you wondering who could afford to live in New York City, where a tall latte is about five dollars, and work for free? Aside from the LGBT limitations, there are many candidates. In American parlance, they’re called “trustafarians”. From the Urban Dictionary, one of the official definitions:

A word that combines Trust-Fund with Rastafarian. A well to do hippie type person that is not encumbered by a job and usually has hair matted into dreadlocks. While not especially materialistic they have resources that enable them to attend a multitude of events such as Burning Man, all forms of jam band concerts, environmental protests and the like.

And before you ask — yes, there are indeed black trustafarians, though solid information on the numbers is hard to come by. The best guesses I saw on the numbers of African American millionaires say there are at least 150,000 black Americans who qualify, and that was taking into account the ongoing economic slide. This statistic seems low, but for the sake of discussion, let’s say that five percent of their children are spoiled rotten wastrels — i.e., trustafarians with real dreadlocks instead of the pale-faced versions who have to settle for months of unwashed matted hair before they can achieve the look. That’s well over five thousand kids who could conceivably apply for this exciting position, depending on their current sexual preferences.

And yes, those kids are in school, which you’ll notice is one of the requirements. They go to places like The New School. No boring math or science or foreign language requirements. Nothing rigorous or demanding. At The New School you learn by osmosis, the same way a fetus takes in information.

This fabulous job only lasts twelve weeks. Still, I wonder if they give time off for demonstrations and concerts. A guy/girl’s gotta have a life, man…