It's Not Easy Being Brown -- Unless You Can Turn it into Green

This person is in Canada, but she’s obviously learned a litigious trick or two from her American cousins to the south. Or maybe she copied this move by reading the CAIR playbook, which uses this tactic monotonously:

TORONTO — Doris Moore was shocked when her new couch was delivered to her home with a label that used a racial slur to describe the dark brown shade of the upholstery

The situation was even more alarming for Moore because it was her 7-year-old daughter who pointed out “n——- brown” on the tag.

“My daughter saw the label and she knew the color brown, but didn’t know what the other word meant. She asked, ‘Mommy, what color is that?’ I was stunned. I didn’t know what to say. I never thought that’s how she’d learn of that word,” Moore said.

The mother complained to the furniture store, which blamed the supplier, who pointed to a computer problem as the source of the derogatory label.

Kingsoft Corp., a Chinese software company, acknowledged its translation program was at fault and said it was a regrettable error.

“I know this is a very bad word,” Huang Luoyi, a product manager for the Beijing-based company’s translation software, told The Associated Press in a telephone interview.

He explained that when the Chinese characters for “dark brown” are typed into an older version of its Chinese-English translation software, the offensive N-word description comes up.

“We got the definition from a Chinese-English dictionary. We’ve been using the dictionary for 10 years. Maybe the dictionary was updated, but we probably didn’t follow suit,” he said.

Moore, who is black, said Kingsoft’s acknowledgment of a mistake doesn’t make her feel better.

“They should know what they are typing, even if it is a software error,” she said. “In order for something to come into the country, don’t they read it first? Doesn’t the manufacturer? The supplier?”

Well, it shows you how insensitive I am. If a couch arrived in my house bearing the label “thick mick green” I’d cut that tag off and put it on the refrigerator as a topic of conversation.

And can’t you see it now? A new ministry in the already swollen Canadian government, one dedicated to the spotting and removal of offensive labels. But whatever will they do if the color is stamped onto the part which says “do not remove this label under penalty of law”? Now there’s a fine conundrum for you.

But Ms. Moore is not to be assuaged by anything less than extortion. Somebody asides me is gonna rue this here particular day…” And for Moore nothing less than money will salve her suffering:

Moore is consulting with a lawyer and wants compensation. Last week, she filed a report with the Ontario Human Rights Commission.

Commission spokeswoman Afroze Edwards said the case is in the initial stages and could take six months to two years to resolve.

Moore, 30, has three young children, and said the issue has taken a toll on her family.

“Something more has to be done. We don’t just need a personal apology, but someone needs to own up to where these labels were made, and someone needs to apologize to all people of color,” Moore said. “I had friends over from St. Lucia yesterday and they wouldn’t sit on the couch.”

Poor babies. I’ll bet they sat on the floor and said mean things to the couch.

I don’t suppose a substitute label, say something that says “Beautiful Brown” would soothe her. Nope, only the sight of fresh moola will make the pain go away. The magic power of lucre to heal the chronically offended.

Let us hope she uses the money to get therapy to help her over-wound sense of victimhood. Lord knows, she needs something to help her get past this exquisitely tuned angry martyrdom. Of course if you can turn a liability into money, well…go for it. I mean, if you can live with yourself afterwards.

The sad part of all of this is the government’s response. It makes you realize how much we need to shrink Big Brother’s overreach. Its arms have grown to ludicrously mutant proportions.

Can you shout “SCAM”?