Why Fire Only Eight Attorneys General? We Want a Clintonesque Putsch!

UPDATE: oops, that's eight US attorneys, not attorneys general. Doh.

[Thanks to commenter nms for pointing out the blooper. They're still fired, though, so amuse yourselves with something else while I make the necessary changes]


Really, Mr. President! When are you going to start following the leadership standard set by William Jefferson Clinton? You have some problems, sir:

• First of all, unlike Mr. Clinton you have yet to find an attorney general with Janet Reno’s charisma and competence. And neither one of your appointees have set any compounds on fire, killing women and children. Surely you can do better than that?
  
  
• How about Mr. Clinton’s assistant Attorney General? Remember the one who went to jail for fraud committed during the Reign of Bill and Hillary in Arkansas? What was Hillary’s Arkansas law partner’s name? Rubble? Double Bubble? Oh….right: it was Hubbell, wasn’t it? I wonder if they still get together for cookouts?
  
  
• You’ve only fired eight [US] attorneys, Mr. Bush. Come on. Mr. Clinton sacked ninety three of ‘em right at the start and gave them ten days to clear out. That sir is politics presidential behavior, with Mr. Clinton setting the pace. You owe us eighty five more heads.
  
  
• And while we’re at it, please illegally pull those hundreds of FBI files on five hundred or so former Democratic employees. So what if it was illegal? Legality was a mere trifle for Bill and Hill; so it ought to be for George and Laura. Give us Filegate II, Mr. Bush. I mean, really, is Scooter Libby the best you can manage? Pardon my saying so, sir, but that’s real bush league mendacity when it comes to law-breaking. You need to have a chat with Bill for pointers. Or perhaps Hillary instead; Herself is the one with the killer instinct. Why you haven’t even had a White House associate fall on his sword yet. For Betsy’s sake, where’s your sense of hillbilly honor?
  
  
• Last but not least, why don’t you destroy the travel office? Ruin a few lives so you can put your Texas pals in place?

Let’s face it, President Bush: what the moonbats say is true. You don’t follow the Clinton playbook, and that’s the root of your problem.

Besides which, you haven’t let Laura set policy in secret, or throw lamps at your philandering head. Oh. I forgot. You don’t do interns. Well, get busy, boy! You don’t have much time left to follow that act.

Here’s what Opinion Journal has to say:

Congressional Democrats are in full cry over the news this week that the Administration’s decision to fire eight U.S. Attorneys originated from—gasp—the White House. Senator Hillary Clinton joined the fun yesterday, blaming President Bush for “the politicization of our prosecutorial system.” Oh, my.

“Oh, my” is correct. Give us the other eighty five [US] attorneys right this minute. I want their heads on a platter. We deserve no less.

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[Nothing further. This was more than enough]