Undermined

 
The News Telegraph has reported that the BBC has re-edited some of its coverage of the London Underground and bus bombings. When the horror first happened, the BBC amazed the world by actually referring to the terrorists as “terrorists.” But reality didn’t last long. In two shakes of a journalist’s tail, it was back to “bombers” for them.
The News Telegraph said:

	Early reporting of the attacks on the BBC’s website spoke of terrorists but the same coverage was changed to describe the attackers simply as “bombers”.
	The BBC’s guidelines state that its credibility is undermined by the “careless use of words which carry emotional or value judgments”.
	Consequently, “the word ‘terrorist’ itself can be a barrier rather than an aid to understanding” and its use should be “avoided”, the guidelines say.

So here’s the Gates of Vienna version of things. Much closer to reality, too:

The BBC has redacted some of the language used to describe its initial coverage of the London Underground and bus bombings.

Earlier reports had spoken of terrorists but as new attitudes were adjusted — or as the shock wore off and journalists reverted to their former attitudes — it became clear that “careless use of words which carry…value judgments” would need to be…umm, erased.

The BBC says this revision of recent events is necessary in order to avoid “undermining” its credibility. Undermining?? Why, absolutely it would. Thus, the new version of events:

The BBC has learned of the recent holiday in London enjoyed by the local Bright Incendiary Hobbies Club. Using their avocation of spelunking to enter the tunnels of the Underground, the enthusiasts were able to undermine several trains, detonating explosive materials with great success… and thus undermining any rumors or imprecations regarding their manhood. Or womanhood, as the case may be. Or human species of whatever sort.

Obviously this talented team is able to use incendiary materials to great effect. It has been observed that their timing and methods bespeak an expertise to be admired and emulated. Even now, others are searching for them in order to be shown how to create their own special effects to undermine several credibilities other than merely those of the BBC.

Our hats are off to such skilled incendiary practitioners. Also off are some of our legs, arms, and vital body parts. But no matter. At least we know these underminers are good at what they do.

I say, not bad for a morning’s work, what?

 

Yes, it’s satire.